Perhaps you've been the dotting, loving grandmother or the proud grandpa to your grandkids for the past few years. Then, one day, your son/daughter - who does not have custody of his/her own child, shows up and says, "I'm taking the kid(s)"!
According to The Free Dictionary, the legal definition of the word custody is "The care, possession, and control of a thing or person. The retention, inspection, guarding, maintenance, or security of a thing within the immediate care and control of the person to whom it is committed. The detention of a person by lawful authority or process."
Just because a man or woman has contributed to the birth of a child, does not give them automatic rights to a child. You see this happen all the time when a drug-addicted mother gives birth to a child and protective services steps in and takes that child. Custody is a right issued by a court to ensure the well being of the person/item in question: in this case, a child.
A grandparents custody rights do not simply vanish. These rights were administered for a reason and until that reason are shown to the court to no longer exist, the custodial rights do not change.
That's all well and good, but how do you keep your grandchild(ren) from his/her/their own mother/father? Just because you believe returning the child to the parent(s) isn't the right thing to do, doesn't mean that a court will agree. Therefore, it's important you take yourself out of the role of grandparent and step into the role of "rational adult" who can view all aspects of the situation with logic and reason.
First, try to make concessions with the parent. Allow contact with the child at some level. While it's sad, there's a good chance the parent will probably tire of the situation quickly and move on. (After all, he/she has not demonstrated parenting skills which is how you obtained custody) Remember: it's your legal role to protect your grandchild.
Next, if you're the parent insists on getting the child back, direct him/her to the appropriate agency. Don't just assume he/she knows who this might be. Be helpful and provide all the information you can. In fact, offer to drive him/her to the agency to start the process. (Again, someone who really doesn't want to be a parent will probably throw in the towel before too long.)
Finally, if there is a viable reason why the parent should have the child back, know that the court isn't simply going to hand the child over. There will be a period of transition during which the parent must prove that he/she can be a parent and care of the child. This is unlikely if he/she is on parole, currently under medical care for psychiatric issues, does not have a satisfactory home, does not have a job, does not have transportation, etc. In reality, the parent will have to jump through hoops to get the child back. If he/she does, then maybe the time is right for this transition to take place.
Always keep it in your mind that termination of grandparents custody rights are decided by one entity: a court of law.
And as a grandparent please keep your grandchildren's best interest in mind. I hope that you are one of those lucky grandparents that has a good relationship with your grandchildren and their parents but if your are not please search out your options and if you would like to visit our site you can get a free gift of 30 Tips For Creating Hours In Your Day here at grandparents rights The rights of grandparents custody rights are certainly something to check out. I wish you all the best. Good luck with your grandchildren.
Jacquelyn Dunn
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